Thursday Trailers! Mad Max! Strangerland! The Last Witch Hunter! Pointy Nipples?

Welcome to Almighty Popcorn!

Alan
Hello our hard rocking amigos!  Tis Thursday again and that only means one thing.

Lewis
THURSDAY TRAILERS!!

Mad Max: Fury Road Retaliate trailer

Alan
Only a couple more weeks for this one.  Remake of the original Mad Max starring Mel Gibson, this one will star Tom Hardy as Max.  The burdened scavenger that’s trying to survive a post-apocalyptic world where people war over fuel and water.

The trailer is the third to come out, the teaser and main trailers can be found here, and here.  Not much has been said about any differences between this film and the original but judging from the trailer above, it does look action packed like the first one.

I think what’s got people mostly excited is that George Miller, the creator/director of Mad Max, is commanding the latest film as well.  Which, fan boys a plenty, are getting uber-excited about.

Lewis
I’m loving all the gymnastics and pole dancing (Ed: stop sniggering) that they got the stunt people to do.

Alan
It certainly looks like they had to orchestrate quite a lot for this film.

Lewis
Especially the guy that looks like he’s burning his back hair on the back of the car.

Cheaper and less painful then waxing.

Cheaper and less painful then waxing.

Alan
From the looks of the trailer, it looks like Max (Tom Hardy) is having to work alongside Charlize Theron’s Furiosa, whilst trying to survive against, what certainly looks like, people covered in talcum powder.

Skin as soft as pillows

Skin as soft as pillows

Alan
The film looks like a petrol heads wet dream packed with gun fights and car acrobatics that even The Fast and The Furious couldn’t outmatch.

Lewis
This trailer would be so much better if that guy screams “What a lovely voice” with a Bane impression.

Strangerland trailer

 

Alan
More aussie goodness coming at us.  Strangerland is about a recently moved family try to make a living in the Australian outback, but when a massive dust storm hits the town, their two teenage daughters disappear into the desert.

Lewis
You say it like that and it sounds like a horror movie.

Alan
Well depending on who you are I guess it could be a horror film for some.  But from the above feel of the trailer, and that it got shown at the Sundance Film Festival, the general feel is a thriller.

Lewis
Not gonna lie, but those first few shots of the trailer and it reminded me of Wolf Creek. *shudders*

Alan
Please…just ….I thought we were never going to talk about that film ever again!  I’m still trying to get some of those scenes out of my head.

Lewis
But it does though!

Alan
You don’t have to mention it!!  Look, let’s just get a wiggle on.  The film stars Nicole Kidman, Hugo Weaving and Joseph Fiennes.  The trailer itself is a little convoluted as it almost plays out like some sort of supernatural horror, doesn’t help with the eerie music to go along with it either.  But from the jist of it, it looks like two teens are a little rebellious..

Lewis
That’s bad.

Alan
But they have loving parents that want them to behave.

Lewis
That’s good.

Alan
But the girls disappear.

Lewis
That’s bad.

Alan
But Hugo Weaving is there to help.

Lewis
That’s good!

Alan
But it looks like he might suspect the parents.

Lewis
That’s bad.

Alan
And it looks like the parents suffer a mental breakdown.

Lewis
….

Alan
That’s bad.

Lewis
I know!  I’m waiting for something good!

Alan
Urgh.  It looks like this was a Sundance only kinda thing so either it will eventually get released to the cinemas, or it’ll be straight to DVD.

The Last Witch Hunter teaser trailer

 

Alan
After the huge success Furious 7 is doing right now, we are given a lovely fantasy film trailer starring the I Am Groot voice artiste, Vin Diesel.  From the first looks of the film it does have the boding of a Nicholas Cage, medieval supernatural fantasy flick, but this looks like it’s set in more modern times like…

Lewis
The Sorcerer’s Apprentice
?

Alan
….Damn that guy has been in far too many films.

Lewis
He is, but he’s pretty awesome when he’s in the awesome ones.

Alan
True.  The film is about an immortal witch hunter called Kaulder (Vin Diesel) who has been given the task to eliminate the witch covens of New York before they wipe out humanity with a horrific plague.

Lewis
So, its you’re basic, I’m the good guy, the last remaining good guy that can do this job mind, up against a group of diabolical people that want to wipe out humans for XYZ reasons?

Alan
There’s a twist on this one.

Lewis
*gasp*

Alan
He has to team up with another witch to take the covens down.

Lewis
Cool.  A sidekick.  I hope they have catchphrases.

Alan
Now who’s being nasty?

Lewis
Well, it’s nothing we haven’t seen before really.

Alan
It’s got Rose Leslie in it.

Lewis
……

Alan
Ygritte, from Game Of…

Lewis
LET’S GO SEE IT!

Alan
And it also has Michael Caine and Elijah Wood in it.

Lewis
Defo have to see it now.

Alan
Well with a  small breakdown in the trailer, it looks like Michael Caine, being suave mother fucker that he is, drinking scotch in a priest’s get up, is praising Vin Diesel for his actions with the order of the Axe and Cross, which sounds like a new indie goth band.  The trailer shows a few more blurred action scenes to entice you, until it gets to a point that Vin Diesel is sitting in a room that’s turned into a snow globe.

Where the shit is this coming from?

Where the shit is this coming from?

Alan
Followed by, him stepping into a snow landscape with a great big tree in a valley.

Lewis
He’s gonna have nipples that could cut through diamonds if he doesn’t put a jacket on!

Pointy nipples!

Pointy nipples!

Alan
Thanks, Lewis.  Didn’t need the visual.

Lewis
You’re welcome. 😀

Alan
Urgh, more actions stumble out with, again, Inception BRAHMS that seem to flood the trailers these days.  All closing to an end with Vin Diesel holding a flaming sword and grunting.

Lewis
Hehehehe, flaming sword.

Alan
Grow up Lewis!

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About almightypopcorn

The shenanigans of Alan and Lewis. Heroes to cinema!
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